It warms the heart to recall the anticipation our family felt last summer when new neighbors, a couple with their children, moved in next door. Like us, they had a bustling household with four kids, and they were planting roots in Naples, joining the growing number of young families in our vibrant community. As someone passionate about our faith, I naturally began conversations about Saint John the Evangelist Catholic Church, our parish, hoping they might find a spiritual home with us. While they were courteous, their initial interest seemed lukewarm, and I soon understood why.
The mother’s parents had gone through a divorce, a painful experience compounded by the feeling of rejection from their former Catholic community. At a vulnerable time, seeking solace and support from their faith, they encountered closed doors and judgment. They were, in essence, told to leave, simply because of the divorce. This heartbreaking experience led them to leave the Catholic Church, a decision born from pain and misunderstanding.
Sadly, this story is not unique. It highlights a critical point often missed: the Catholic Church is intended to be a sanctuary for healing and support, a “hospital for sinners,” as Pope Francis eloquently reminds us, not an exclusive “museum of saints.” Love, compassion, and healing are central tenets of our Catholic faith, standing in stark contrast to ostracization and condemnation. Our Holy Father has consistently emphasized this in his teachings on family, directly addressing the experiences of divorced individuals.
In a powerful message, Pope Francis stated:
Dear Brothers and Sisters, Good morning!
With this catechesis we return to our reflection on the family. After speaking the last time about families wounded due to misunderstandings between spouses, today I would like to focus our attention on another reality: how to take care of those who, after an irreversible failure of their matrimonial bond, have entered into a new union.
The Church is fully aware that such a situation is contrary to the Christian Sacrament. However, her gaze as a teacher always draws from a mother’s heart; a heart which, enlivened by the Holy Spirit, always seeks the good and the salvation of the people. This is why she feels obliged, “for the sake of truth”, to “exercise careful discernment of situations”. This is how St John Paul II expressed it in the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (n. 84), giving as an example the difference between one subjected to separation compared to one who has caused it. This discernment has to be made.
If we then also look at these new bonds through the eyes of the young sons and daughters — and the little ones watch — through the eyes of the children, we are aware of a greater urgency to foster a true welcome for these families in our communities. For this reason it is important that the style of the community, its language, its attitudes, always be attentive to people, starting with the little ones. They are the ones who suffer the most in these situations. After all, how can we encourage these parents to do everything possible to raise their children in the Christian life, to give them an example of committed and exercised faith, if we keep them at arm’s length from the life of the community, as if they are excommunicated? We must act in a way so as not to add even more to the burdens which the children in these situations already feel they have to bear! Unfortunately, the number of these children and youth is really large. It is important for them to feel the Church as loving mother to all, always ready to listen and to meet.
In these decades, in truth, the Church has been neither insensitive nor lazy. Thanks to the in-depth analysis performed by Pastors, led and guided by my Predecessors, the awareness has truly grown that it is necessary to have a fraternal and attentive welcome, in love and in truth, of the baptized who have established a new relationship of cohabitation after the failure of the marital sacrament; in fact, these persons are by no means excommunicated — they are not excommunicated! — and they should absolutely not be treated as such: they are still a part of the Church.
Pope Benedict XVI spoke about this question, calling for careful discernment and wise pastoral accompaniment, knowing that there are no “simple solutions” (Speech at the Seventh World Meeting of Families, Milan, 2 June 2012, answer n. 5). Here the repeated call to Pastors to openly and consistently demonstrate the community’s willingness to welcome them and encourage them, so they may increasingly live and develop their membership in Christ and in the Church through prayer, by listening to the Word of God, by attending the liturgy, through the Christian education of their children, through charity and service to the poor, through the commitment to justice and peace.
The biblical icon of the Good Shepherd (Jn 10:11-18) summarizes the mission that Jesus received from the Father: that of giving his life for the sheep. This attitude is also a model for the Church, which embraces her children as a mother who gives her life for them. “The Church is called to be the house of the Father, with doors always wide open”…. No closed doors! No closed doors! “Everyone can share in some way in the life of the Church; everyone can be part of the community”…. The Church “is the house of the Father, where there is a place for everyone, with all their problems” (Ap. Exhort. Evangelii Gaudium, n. 47).
In the same way all Christians are called to imitate the Good Shepherd. Especially Christian families can cooperate with Him by taking care of wounded families, accompanying them in the life of faith of the community. Each one must do his part in taking on the attitude of the Good Shepherd, who knows each one of his sheep and excludes no one from his infinitive love!
Embracing this spirit of welcome and understanding, St. John the Evangelist in Naples, FL, is blessed to offer ministries and support for individuals and families in various life situations. A testament to this commitment is the initiation of the Divorced and Separated Support Group, led by the compassionate volunteer, Lhara Echevarria.
Lhara, sharing her personal journey, explains the heart behind this ministry:
Hi, my name is Lhara and I volunteered to start a much-needed “divorce and separated” support group here at church. I am a mother of two who got divorced 2 years ago. It is well known that divorce is one of the most hurtful experiences that anyone can go through. However, it is my hope that if we get together we can help each other and lessen the pain. I would like to invite anyone that is going through a separation or has experienced it in the past (no matter how many years ago) to join me on Wednesday evenings from 6 to 7 pm starting on September 23rd. Let’s be the Light of the Lord for each other. Also, I can be reached at 239-293-3694 or [email protected]
May God Bless you,
Lhara
This initiative at St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church in Naples, FL, reflects a broader understanding within the Church, championed by Pope Francis, that emphasizes accompaniment, discernment, and integration. It’s about walking with people through their struggles, recognizing the complexities of life, and offering the healing and supportive embrace of faith.
In a heartwarming conclusion to the initial story, the family I mentioned earlier has indeed found a welcoming home at Saint John. They have not only joined our parish community but have also actively participated as volunteers in our Vacation Bible School. This is a beautiful example of how a parish, embracing the true spirit of the Gospel, can be instrumental in the healing journey of individuals and families, demonstrating that St. John the Evangelist Naples FL, is truly a place where everyone is welcome, regardless of where they are on life’s path.
