John Prine, a master storyteller through song, penned countless heartfelt and humorous tunes, but “In Spite Of Ourselves” stands out as a particularly beloved gem. This delightful duet, often performed with Iris DeMent or Sara Watkins, offers a quirky and affectionate look at love, celebrating the imperfections that make relationships real and enduring. Let’s delve into the lyrics of this modern classic and explore what makes it so captivating.
The song opens with contrasting verses, painting portraits of “she” and “he” with a series of endearing, slightly off-kilter traits. The female subject in the first verse “don’t like her eggs all runny” and “thinks crossin’ her legs is funny,” immediately establishing a relatable, everyday image. Lines like “She looks down her nose at money / She gets it on like the Easter Bunny” add layers of playful contradiction, suggesting a woman who is both discerning and passionate. The simple declaration “She’s my baby I’m her honey / I’m never gonna let her go” punctuates the verse with unwavering affection.
Alt text: John Prine and Iris DeMent smiling and singing into a microphone together on stage, performing their duet In Spite of Ourselves.
The second verse introduces “he,” presented with equally amusing and humanizing flaws. “He ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays” and “I caught him once and he was sniffin’ my undies” are lines delivered with a wink, highlighting a comfortable, unvarnished intimacy. Despite being “ain’t too sharp,” he “gets things done,” and his beer consumption is likened to needing “oxygen,” painting a picture of a lovable, if slightly goofy, partner. The repeated refrain, “He’s my baby / And I’m his honey / Never gonna let him go,” mirrors the first verse, emphasizing the mutual and steadfast nature of this unconventional love.
The chorus is the heart of the song and where the title phrase, “In spite of ourselves,” truly resonates. “We’ll end up a’sittin’ on a rainbow / Against all odds” is a whimsical image of improbable but destined love. The line “Honey, we’re the big door prize” is a humorous and self-deprecating take on romance, suggesting they are lucky to have found each other despite, or perhaps because of, their imperfections. The chorus culminates in the unforgettable lines: “We’re gonna spite our noses / Right off of our faces / There won’t be nothin’ but big old hearts / Dancin’ in our eyes.” This vivid imagery of shedding superficiality (“spite our noses right off our faces”) to reveal pure, unadulterated love (“big old hearts dancin’ in our eyes”) is both comical and deeply touching.
The subsequent verses continue to build on these character sketches. “She thinks all my jokes are corny / Convict movies make her horny” is a hilariously specific and relatable couple dynamic. Her love for “ketchup on her scrambled eggs” and sailor-like swearing when shaving her legs further adds to her quirky charm. Despite these eccentricities, “She takes a lickin’ / And keeps on tickin’,” highlighting her resilience and endearing stubbornness. The commitment, “I’m never gonna let her go,” is reiterated, solidifying the depth of affection.
The verse about “he” escalates the playful exaggeration. He’s described as having “more balls than a big brass monkey,” a “whacked out weirdo and a lovebug junkie,” and “sly as a fox and crazy as a loon.” These over-the-top descriptions are clearly delivered with love and amusement. Even his less-than-responsible behavior (“Payday comes and he’s howlin’ at the moon”) is presented as part of his lovable, unpredictable nature. The line “He’s my baby / I don’t mean maybe / Never gonna let him go” injects humor with “I don’t mean maybe” while reaffirming the unwavering commitment.
The chorus repeats, reinforcing the central theme of love that triumphs over flaws and expectations. The song concludes with a spoken outro, simply stating “In spite of ourselves,” a final, understated acknowledgment of the beautiful irony at the heart of lasting love.
“In Spite Of Ourselves” resonates because it celebrates real love – the kind that isn’t picture-perfect but is genuine, funny, and enduring. John Prine’s lyrics, filled with humor and heart, remind us that love can thrive in the most unexpected places, even, and perhaps especially, in spite of ourselves.
