It’s been almost four decades since John Mellencamp’s “Jack and Diane” captured the hearts of America, painting a picture of young love in the heartland. But what became of these two iconic characters after the song faded from the top of the charts? We sat down for a candid interview with Jack and Diane to discuss their life, love, and legacy after all these years.
Let’s take it back to the beginning. What was it like being young and in love in the heartland, the way John Mellencamp described it?
Jack: Man, those were carefree days. We practically lived on chili dogs from the Tastee Freez. Probably not the healthiest diet looking back, considering my heart issues now and Diane’s diabetes. But hey, we were young and in love, right?
Diane: (Laughing) Oh, Jack. Always thinking about his stomach. But yeah, it was that young, innocent kind of love. Remember sitting in your car, Jack, hands all over the place… You were always trying to get behind that shady tree. And those Bobby Brooks jeans… you were obsessed!
Bobby Brooks jeans? The song mentions them. What was the deal with Bobby Brooks?
Diane: Oh, they were the jeans back in the 80s. Super tight, all the girls wore them. And Jack here, he was convinced they were the key to everything. He was always trying to “dribble them off,” as he so eloquently put it. It usually worked, too!
And did you let him, uh, do whatever he pleased behind that shady tree?
Diane: (Laughing harder) Well, honey, we have seven kids. You do the math!
Seven kids! Mellencamp didn’t mention that part.
Jack: Yeah, seven. Looking back, maybe we should have invested in condoms. But they’re mostly good kids. Mostly.
The song made you both famous, at least in song form. How did that fame affect your lives?
Jack: (Strikes a James Dean pose, scratches his head) It was a whirlwind, you know? One minute we’re just two kids from the heartland, the next everyone’s singing about us. We thought it would last forever. But then Mellencamp moved on, wrote songs about other people, other things. Our fifteen minutes were up.
Diane: It’s true. We never even got one of those pink houses John was singing about! (Laughs) But honestly, it’s okay. Fame is fleeting. We’re happy with our life.
Jack, in the song, you were going to be a football star, right?
Jack: Yeah, well, that dream ended when I blew out my knee in the state championship. So much for gridiron glory. Ended up working as a Wal-Mart greeter for a while. Real glamorous, I know. When Diane thought about getting a job, I tried to warn her off.
Diane: He told me I wasn’t missing anything at Wal-Mart. But we needed the money. We couldn’t just sit around waiting for some miracle. We had a family to support.
And Diane, you ended up at the local laundromat?
Diane: Yep, been folding laundry and dealing with lost socks ever since. It’s honest work.
After all these years, what advice would Jack and Diane of John Mellencamp’s song give to young lovers today?
Diane: Hold onto sixteen as long as you can. It goes by in a blink.
Jack: Damn right. Those changes Mellencamp sang about, they hit you hard and fast. Suddenly you’re not kids anymore.
Diane: And for goodness sake, use birth control! Seven kids is a lot in any era. It wasn’t easy back then, and I can’t imagine it’s any easier now.
So, what does the future hold for Jack and Diane?
Jack: Well, right now, we’re stuck in quarantine thanks to this darn Coronavirus. We’re not spring chickens anymore, pushing seventy, with our share of health problems. Like Mellencamp said, “life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone.” Hits you right in the gut when you get to our age.
Diane: (Chuckles) He gets a little dramatic sometimes. We’re just taking it one day at a time, like everyone else. Still two American elders, doing our best.
Jack: Mellencamp should write a sequel! “Jack and Diane: The AARP Years.” That’s got a ring to it!
Josh Lorenzo
Josh Lorenzo is a humor writer whose work appears in outlets such as McSweeney’s and the Washington Post. He pens a satirical column, Don’t Feed the Animals at Political Animal Magazine. He can be found on Twitter @theathrofsrcsm.
