In a candid interview from October 1980, Yoko Ono and John Lennon opened up about a significant period in their relationship: their 18-month separation. Far from the typical narrative of a man leaving a woman, their story reveals a more complex dynamic, driven by Yoko’s need for personal and artistic space and John’s subsequent struggle with the separation. This period, often shrouded in speculation, is clarified by Yoko and John themselves, offering a unique insight into their partnership.
Yoko initiated the separation, a fact that subverts conventional expectations. As she explained, “I really needed some space because I was used to being an artist and free and all that.” Before her relationship with John, Yoko was an established artist with her own identity and autonomy. The intense public scrutiny that came with being John Lennon’s partner dramatically altered her life. “When I got together with John, because we’re always in the public eye, I lost the freedom,” she stated. This constant visibility and the media’s intense focus created immense pressure, particularly on Yoko, who was often unfairly portrayed as the reason for the Beatles’ breakup. “The pressure was particularly strong on me because of being the one who stole John Lennon from the public,” she elaborated. This external pressure significantly impacted her artistic expression. “My artwork suffered too as a result of that. I suffered a lot and so I thought I that I wanted to be free from all that. I needed the space to think.” To regain her sense of self and artistic direction, Yoko proposed the separation, suggesting John move to Los Angeles.
John’s initial reaction was one of excitement at the prospect of “Bachelor Life.” However, this initial enthusiasm quickly faded. “At first I thought, ‘Oh!’ you know, ‘Bachelor Life! Whoopee, whoopee.’ And then I woke up one day and I thought, ‘What is this? What is this? I want to go home.’” Despite his desire to return, Yoko felt he wasn’t ready. This led to a prolonged separation that extended far beyond John’s initial expectations. “But she wouldn’t let me home. That’s why it was eighteen months instead of six. Because we were talking all the time on the phone and I kept saying you know ‘I don’t like this you know I can’t. You know I’m out of control, I’m drinking, and I’m getting into trouble, and I’d like to come home, please.’” Yoko remained firm, believing he needed more time to address his personal struggles before returning. Her resolve left John feeling increasingly lost and adrift. “She’s saying, ‘You’re not ready to come home.’ ‘What are you saying?’ you know. ‘OK, back in the bottle.’ In the meantime I’m going to pieces and she’s just carrying on, functioning normally and I’m falling to pieces and whoring it up.” This period was clearly a difficult and tumultuous time for John, marked by heavy drinking and self-destructive behavior.
Adding to Yoko’s distress was the media’s portrayal of her as a “poor deserted wife.” This narrative was not only inaccurate but deeply insulting. “The thing that hurt me the most was the fact that the reporters were writing about ‘the poor deserted wife’. And wherever I’d go they’d all look at me with ‘Oh, I’m so sorry for you; she must be suffering.’ And that’s very insulting and humiliating to a woman.” Yoko felt trapped by this public perception. Correcting the narrative would have been seen as boastful and in poor taste, further fueling negative press. “And also I didn’t want to break that image and come out and say ‘Well actually I’m the one who kicked him out and he’s the one that’s suffering.’ It’s always in bad taste to do that. So I have endured all situations without protesting.” She chose to endure the misrepresentation rather than engage in what she perceived as unseemly self-promotion or public airing of private matters. Even in the interview, she notes the continued persistence of this skewed perspective. “Even now when reporters ask about it they say, ‘Did you ever think he would ever come back?’ That sort of thing.”
For John, the separation became a period of intense self-destruction fueled by alcohol. He openly admitted using drinking as a coping mechanism to hide his emotional pain. “I was trying to hide what I felt in a bottle and it wasn’t doing me any good. Forget about image, just physically and mentally it was killing me. And I only know how to get out of that kind of situation by drinking.” His drinking escalated to dangerous levels, exacerbated by his association with other heavy drinkers in the music industry. “I really tried to drown myself in the bottle and it took an awful lot because I don’t seem strong physically that much, but it just seems to take an amazing lot to put me down. And I was with the heaviest drinkers in the industry which is Harry Nilsson and Bobby Keyes and all of them, and we couldn’t pull ourselves out.” He described a toxic environment where excessive drinking was normalized, and the consequences were dire. “It was Keith, Harry, me and god knows who else around. And it was like, ‘Who’s going to die first?’ Unfortunately Keith was the one. But I got out.” The tragic death of Keith Moon served as a stark wake-up call, prompting John to confront his own destructive path.
Ultimately, John’s desire to return to Yoko and to complete his musical projects motivated him to sober up and return to New York. “And then I sober up and I bring the tapes back to New York because I want to get home to Yoko and I also want to get the tapes and the thing out.” This marked the end of their separation and a return to their life together, with both Yoko and John having gained valuable insights from their time apart. Their willingness to openly discuss this challenging period provides a more nuanced and truthful understanding of their relationship, moving beyond simplistic narratives and revealing the complexities of their personal journey.
