Recently, NBA star John Wall shared a deeply personal account at a John Wall Foundation event hosted by The Salvation Army, revealing the immense challenges he has faced in recent years. The five-time All-Star described this period as “the darkest place I’ve ever been in,” a candid admission that resonated throughout the sports world and beyond. While known for his impressive John Wall Stats on the court, Wall’s vulnerability highlighted a different kind of strength – the courage to confront personal demons and seek help.
Wall openly spoke about contemplating suicide, a shocking revelation that underscored the severity of his struggles. “At one point in time, I thought about committing suicide,” Wall confessed. His turmoil was compounded by a series of devastating life events: tearing his Achilles tendon, his mother’s illness and passing, and his grandmother’s death a year later, all amidst the isolation and uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic. He recounted the harrowing experience of witnessing his mother’s final moments during chemotherapy, a period of intense grief and emotional strain.
Despite these immense hardships, Wall emphasized the importance of support systems and professional help in his journey toward healing. He credited his children, his team, and the mother of his children as his primary motivations for persevering. “My team, the mother of my kids has been great, my two boys, it’s my motivation for me. Looking at all that, I’m like, ‘If I can get through this, I can get through anything in life.'” Wall’s willingness to seek therapy marked a turning point, highlighting the significance of mental health care, even for high-profile athletes who often appear invincible.
Wall’s journey is a powerful reminder that everyone faces challenges, regardless of their public image or professional success. “Everybody goes through something, we all went through tough times, nobody’s got it easy. But I don’t think a lot of people could get through what I went through.” His resilience in overcoming these obstacles and his determination to return to the NBA demonstrate his inner strength. The outpouring of fan support and the opportunity to play again are sources of immense motivation for Wall as he embarks on this new chapter with the Los Angeles Clippers. “To me, to be back on top where I want to be and see that the fans still want me to play, having support from my hometown, their support means a lot in a time where I had to go find a therapist.”
He now views his past trials as part of a larger plan, expressing optimism and excitement for the future. “I think everything I have been through has all been a part of God’s plan… Even though I was in a dark place the last couple of years, I’m super excited… to play the game that I love.” This perspective reflects a profound personal growth, transforming his pain into a source of hope and purpose.
In light of Wall’s revelations, Etan Thomas, another former Washington Wizard, reached out to Marcin Gortat, who played alongside Wall for five seasons, to gain further insight into his former teammate’s experiences and character.
Etan Thomas: What were your thoughts when you heard John Wall’s interview detailing everything he has been through?
Marcin Gortat: “First of all, I was shocked. I didn’t know that he was going through so many different issues.” Gortat’s initial reaction mirrored that of many, highlighting the private nature of Wall’s struggles. He recalled a past event that revealed Wall’s deep empathy and emotional sensitivity: the passing of Miyah Telemaque-Nelson, a young girl Wall had connected with through charity work. “I was a witness a couple years ago while we were teammates and there was this little 6-year-old girl, Miyah Telemaque-Nelson, who he had really connected with who passed away from cancer. He had been raising money for her and doing charity work for her, and I remember the big impact her death had on him. He literally broke down during a postgame interview where he dedicated the game to her.” This memory underscores Wall’s capacity for compassion and the profound impact loss can have on him.
Thomas: Yeah, I remember seeing that video. He really took that hard.
Gortat: “Even harder than most people know. He was really down for a couple of weeks after that. So when I heard that he lost his mom and then his grandmother, I thought back to how hard he took [it] when little Miyah passed away. After hearing this past interview, I felt bad. Like as a former teammate, I should’ve been supporting [him] more.” Gortat expressed regret for not being more aware of the extent of Wall’s pain during those difficult times. While he had offered support during Wall’s time in Houston, he acknowledged that the depth of Wall’s personal tragedies was unknown to him. “Yeah, I texted with him a couple of times while he was in Houston. I knew he was struggling with the situation as far as the team and them pushing him to the side, so I knew that alone was catastrophic for him because I know how much he loves basketball. But couple that with losing people as close to you as your mother and grandmother [and that] had to have been just devastating.” This combination of professional setbacks and personal losses created an overwhelming burden for Wall.
Thomas: He mentioned that he has a positive outlook now and feels optimistic with his new situation with the Los Angeles Clippers, so that was good to hear.
Gortat: “Yeah, I’m hoping that basketball will be something that can help him since he seems to be in a much better situation with the Clippers so that will occupy his mind and his emotions somewhat, but I really hope he heals and gets all of the support toward his healing.” Gortat expressed hope that the positive environment with the Clippers could aid Wall’s healing process, emphasizing the importance of ongoing support for his well-being.
Thomas: I definitely agree. One of the things that bothers me is when I hear different fans or people on social media or in the sports media reporting on rumors that are just inaccurate. They cast a negative light on an athlete based on these rumors. Stephen A. Smith publicly apologized to John for his role in demonizing him last season in Houston. I was glad to see him do that because the media really went after John Wall and swayed public opinion on him in a very cruel and uninformed way.
Gortat: “Yeah and that’s very unfortunate that that happens a lot in the media nowadays, but this is how it is in this league. A lot of people owe John Wall an apology. I understand the media has to write something or say something on their shows that’s controversial and that gets all of the people’s attention because that’s what they are paid to do. But people who know John know that they were unfairly demonizing him. Not that he’s perfect, nobody is perfect. Did he make mistakes? Yes, but everybody makes mistakes. But he is not the person they were making him out to be, and it’s terrible how much that happens.” Gortat highlighted the damaging impact of media narratives and rumors on athletes, noting the unfair criticism Wall faced. He acknowledged that while athletes are not perfect, the level of demonization Wall endured was unwarranted and hurtful, especially considering his personal struggles.
Thomas: I had a debate with David Aldridge and Marc Spears about the power of the media. Marc came out publicly and said that he regretted doing the interview, but I was trying to explain to them the power that the media has to sway public opinion, and how the media should be held accountable when they talk recklessly. And they just weren’t willing to accept that the media has that kind of power. But this is a prime example. It’s good that Stephen A. publicly apologized, but hopefully that changes the way he and many others in the media target players and demonize them because it happens too often. Just here with the Wizards, I saw it happen with Kwame Brown and with Chris Webber after he got traded (back when they were the Bullets). It really happens way too much.
Gortat: “I definitely agree. So let me say, as someone who played with John Wall for many years: When he is healthy, he is one of the best point guards in the league — hands down. The guy is a beast. I don’t know what Houston was doing with him. That was completely absurd. Here you have a guy of his caliber and you have him sitting at home? Not even on the bench, but at home? I can’t imagine how he felt going through that for [an entire] season? And to have these prominent people in the media vilifying him while he is going through all of this, as he’s dealing with injury after injury and losing his loved ones?” Gortat passionately defended Wall’s basketball abilities, emphasizing his talent and past performance. He criticized the Houston Rockets’ handling of Wall’s situation, keeping a player of his caliber away from the game. Gortat reiterated the cruelty of the media criticism amidst Wall’s personal turmoil and injuries. When healthy, john wall stats consistently placed him among the league’s elite point guards, making his benching even more perplexing to many.
Thomas: Yeah, I don’t care if anyone says there wasn’t any cruel or malicious intent behind their reporting — that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t still cruel and malicious.
Gortat: “Exactly! Many people think athletes are like robots — like video game characters who just perform, and that’s not true. We are human beings with emotions and we go through tragedies and hardships in life, but are still expected to push all that to the side and perform at the highest level every night. I remember seven or eight years ago when DeMar DeRozan was in Toronto and he was going through depression and he said that he was going to the games, but he wasn’t really thinking about the games because he was dealing with so much personally.” Gortat stressed the humanity of athletes, countering the perception that they are emotionless performers. He drew a parallel to DeMar DeRozan’s public discussion of his depression, highlighting the mental health challenges athletes face while under immense pressure to perform.
“The NBA is getting better at helping players now when they are going through tragedies, but we still have a long way to go. I remember my fourth year and definitely my fifth year playing in Washington — specifically when things with me and John were not the best — there was a lot that I was dealing with and I didn’t have too much help. But honestly, it wasn’t a concern. Many people just wanted me to perform and push my personal life to the side, and sometimes that’s hard to do.” Gortat acknowledged the NBA’s progress in supporting players’ mental health but emphasized that more needs to be done. He shared his own experience of lacking support during personal struggles while playing for the Wizards, underscoring a need for greater empathy and resources for athletes.
Thomas: “I can definitely attest to that. I lost my grandmother, who I was really close with, while I was playing with the Wizards. And I remember our trainer, Eric Waters, trying to rush me back and I was like, “Can you give me a minute please?” When I came back, that’s when I had the first issue with Brendan Haywood. Normally, I would’ve ignored him throwing tantrums over not getting enough playing time, but that day just wasn’t the day, so I flipped on him. The team actually formed a human barricade and escorted him out of the locker room. Then, everyone — Ernie Grunfeld, Eric Waters, Coach Eddie Jordan — was like, “What’s wrong? Why did you get so upset?” And I was like, “I told y’all I needed a minute!” Etan Thomas shared a personal anecdote illustrating the lack of understanding and pressure athletes face when dealing with personal loss, further emphasizing the points Gortat made.
Gortat: “Yeah, and my issues with John kind of formed in a similar way, to be honest — because I was holding so much in and suppressing what I was going through and reacting to different things on the court like not getting the ball as much as I wanted to or us losing games I felt we should’ve won. Interesting, I didn’t know that’s what started y’all’s issues.” Gortat revealed that his past disagreements with Wall also stemmed from suppressed personal struggles, leading to heightened emotions and on-court frustrations. This shared experience of personal burdens impacting professional relationships deepened the connection between the two former teammates.
“Let me tell you this quick story. I went to Cleveland and I was on this stupid streak of 250 or 280 or something games [in a row] without missing a game, so I was playing like three seasons straight. And all of a sudden in December, my mom had a stroke. I got the message while I was in Cleveland and I was shocked. I broke down crying. They had found my mom after like a day-and-a-half, laying at home unconscious; my friend found her. So when I came back to the locker room that morning, I was there physically but I wasn’t really there. But John and Brad [Beal] were the first people who said, ‘Give him some space, let him go deal with what’s going on with his family because that’s bigger than basketball and he has our support.’ So, Coach [Randy] Wittman came down and told me, ‘Go to Poland, don’t worry about the team for now.’” Gortat shared a moving story of John Wall and Bradley Beal’s supportive reaction when his mother suffered a stroke. Their empathy and encouragement for him to prioritize his family demonstrated a genuine care beyond basketball, a side of Wall often unseen by the public.
“That meant a lot to me. They knew what I was going through. And when you’re so close to a teammate, you feel their pain. And in turn, I know how close John was with his mom. He talked about her all the time. When we finally sat down and squashed our issues, we had a real ‘kumbaya moment.’ We talked about all of our personal struggles, all that we were dealing with and had been dealing with. We cleared the air and connected on a whole ‘nother level as teammates, and it was exactly what we needed. So, hearing last week that my teammate contemplated suicide was devastating. Yeah, we had our issues in the past, but none of that matters now. I am cheering for John and want him to be successful both on and off the court.” This experience fostered a deeper understanding and reconciliation between Gortat and Wall. Gortat emphasized his unwavering support for Wall, both personally and professionally, especially in light of Wall’s recent revelations.
Thomas: I’m glad we did this interview, to have us — two former Wizards — encourage our brotha. You know, once a Wizard, always a Wizard. I really want to see him do well too. I was already rooting for him to really have a new beginning with the Clippers and shine like the old John Wall, but now I’m rooting for him times 1,000.
Gortat: “I couldn’t agree with you more! I wanna see John demolish every other point guard in the league. Just go on a tear. I remember seeing him battle every game — Kyrie Irving, Derrick Rose, Chris Paul — and people forget how good he was, how fast he was end to end, how explosive he was. John was special, and I want to see him get back to that. But more importantly, I want him to heal because he has literally gone through hell over these last years.” Gortat concluded by expressing his strong desire to see Wall succeed, not just in basketball but in his personal healing journey. He reminisced about Wall’s exceptional skills and competitiveness, hoping to see him return to his former glory and reminding everyone of the player who once dominated matchups against the league’s best point guards. While john wall stats are a testament to his on-court prowess, Gortat’s final words emphasized the importance of Wall’s overall well-being above all else.
