The 1970s were a tumultuous time for John Lennon, marked by a period he famously dubbed his “lost weekend.” This phrase, borrowed from the film about alcoholism, conjured images of drunken excess during his 18-month separation from Yoko Ono. However, May Pang, Lennon’s lover during this era, offers a contrasting perspective, one that reveals a more nuanced and even joyful chapter in the legendary musician’s life.
According to Pang, far from being a period of regret, the “lost weekend” was a time of liberation and simple pleasures. “He was getting to hang out with his friends and have a lot of fun,” Pang explained. “And, because I was 10 years younger, we were getting to do all the things young couples do.” Her account challenges the widely accepted narrative, suggesting that the “lost weekend” label was more of a media-weary quip than an accurate reflection of their time together. Lennon himself, Pang insists, used the term sarcastically to deflect persistent press inquiries about drunken incidents, clarifying, “Hey it was a drunken weekend, OK?… People don’t understand that the phrase wasn’t about our relationship.”
This revisionist view is now at the heart of a new documentary, “The Lost Weekend: A Love Story,” which directly borrows Lennon’s infamous phrase, highlighting the multiple interpretations surrounding this period. For years, the narrative has been clouded by conflicting accounts from Lennon, Ono, and Pang. Thirty years prior to the documentary, Pang penned her memoir, “Loving John,” aiming to solidify her version of events and assert the depth and legitimacy of her bond with Lennon, countering dismissals of their relationship as a mere fling. Despite her book, Pang felt her story remained largely unheard, prompting her to participate in the documentary. “Whenever I would tell people about it, they would say: ‘You should write a book,” Pang recounted. “I told them: ‘I did!!’”
May Pang, John Lennon, and Yoko Ono in a vintage photograph, illustrating the complex relationships during Lennon’s “Lost Weekend” period.
The documentary also arrives at a time when societal conversations around workplace dynamics and power imbalances are prominent. Pang’s story includes a startling element of workplace sexual dynamics, as her involvement with Lennon began at the behest of Ono, her employer. Ono, through her representative, declined to comment on Pang’s narrative when contacted by The Guardian.
For those familiar with music history, the outline of Pang’s story isn’t entirely new. In the early 70s, Pang was employed as an assistant to Lennon and Ono. According to Pang, Ono initiated the affair, explicitly instructing her to become Lennon’s lover. “She was asking me that but, at the same time, she said: ‘You will!’” Pang stated, highlighting the lack of agency she felt in the situation.
Pang’s youth and subordinate position made her appear vulnerable to Ono’s wishes. However, Pang’s personal history reveals a more complex and resilient character. Born and raised in Spanish Harlem, her New Yorker upbringing instilled in her a sharp wit and strong sense of self. “I’ve been told by men that I’ve gone out with that I’m stronger than most women,” she shared with a laugh. “I had my own mindset.”
Her strength was forged in childhood. Pang’s parents, Chinese immigrants who endured the Japanese invasion before settling in America, had a traditional and unhappy arranged marriage. While her father, in line with the patriarchal norms of the time, favored sons, her mother served as a powerful example of female resilience. “She was a real warrior,” Pang recalled. “My father was more afraid of her than the other way around. I aligned myself with her.”
This inherent defiance also drew Pang to rock and roll. “Music was my savior,” she declared, emphasizing its importance in her life.
In 1970, her boldness led her to secure a job with Allen Klein’s management office, representing Apple Records and most of The Beatles. Her first encounter with Lennon and Ono at the office left a lasting impression, though not in a glamorous way. “They looked like they hadn’t taken a bath in months,” she admitted.
Pang believes Ono selected her as a personal assistant because of her efficiency and competence. “I was able to do whatever they asked me to do,” she explained, highlighting her work ethic.
However, the demands of the job were often unusual and driven primarily by Ono. Pang recounted tasks such as sourcing flies in winter for Ono’s avant-garde film “Fly,” and soliciting leg shots from strangers and celebrities for another peace-themed film project. Despite her appreciation for The Beatles’ music, Pang harbored no romantic fantasies about Lennon at the time, even stating Ringo Starr was her favorite Beatle. Initially, this lack of romantic interest was an advantage in Ono’s eyes. “Anyone who she sensed was making a play for John, they were gone,” Pang noted, indicating Ono’s possessiveness.
Working in their home office at the Dakota building, Pang observed a palpable tension between Lennon and Ono. “They were like two magnets that were repelling against each other,” she described. “You just don’t want to get in the middle of that.”
This tension escalated in 1973 when Ono approached Pang with the proposition that she become involved with Lennon, claiming they were drifting apart and that Lennon would seek other partners. “I thought: ‘Oh God, there’s going to be more people involved now?’” Pang remembered, unaware that she was to be one of those people.
It was Ono herself, Pang states, who directly suggested and orchestrated the affair. “’You don’t have a boyfriend, right?’ I said: ‘Yes, but please go to someone else with this.’ Then she said: ‘You’re nice and you don’t want him to go out with somebody that’s not going to be nice to him, right?’ I said: ‘Of course not.’ So, she said: ‘You’re perfect.’ I said ‘no’ and she kept saying ‘yes’. Then she walked out the door. Later, John told me that she went to him after and said: ‘I fixed it for you.’”
Pang maintains that Lennon was initially resistant to the arrangement. “He wasn’t jumping for joy,” she said. “He didn’t want to, and I didn’t.”
However, over time, Lennon warmed to Pang and initiated a romantic relationship. “If he didn’t, I wouldn’t have gone out with him,” Pang clarified, emphasizing mutual agency after the initial unusual setup.
Their physical intimacy solidified the relationship, and when Lennon relocated to Los Angeles, Pang accompanied him as his lover. Pang alleges Ono sanctioned this move, possibly to pursue her own affair. “We didn’t know that at the time,” Pang revealed. “But the only way for that to happen was John not being there.”
A candid black and white photograph of John Lennon and May Pang, capturing a moment of happiness during their time together in Los Angeles.
In Los Angeles, Pang witnessed a resurgence of Lennon’s lighter, more carefree personality, which positively impacted his creativity. He recorded the “Rock ‘n’ Roll” album, a collection of covers that allowed him to reconnect with his musical roots and alleviate the pressure of original songwriting. Freed from the constraints of Beatlemania and the tension with Ono, Lennon embraced normalcy. Pang recounted, “I took him on bus rides. I took him to parks,” highlighting their efforts to experience everyday life.
Pang also facilitated Lennon’s reconnection with his estranged son, Julian. She revealed that Ono had previously intercepted calls from Julian, instructing Pang to tell him Lennon was unavailable and concealing these calls from Lennon himself. In Los Angeles, Pang encouraged Lennon to reach out to Julian. “He hadn’t seen his father in such a long time,” she said. “There was so much he was missing.”
Pang observed Lennon’s initial awkwardness and guilt regarding his estrangement from Julian. “I would have to coax him through it,” Pang admitted. “And it worked. He really enjoyed Julian’s company.” She also played a role in reuniting Lennon with Julian’s mother, his first wife, Cynthia. Julian himself appears in the documentary as a strong supporter of Pang’s account.
While their time together had its joys, it wasn’t without challenges. Lennon’s drinking persisted, though Pang disputes claims of heavy drug use. Furthermore, Ono’s jealousy grew, manifesting in frequent phone calls. “She would call a million times a day,” Pang recalled. “It was over nothing. She would say: ‘I just wanted you to know that I took a walk around the block.’”
Interestingly, Pang noted that Lennon often sided with her against Ono during these calls, a dynamic Ono was unaccustomed to. “She wasn’t used to that,” Pang explained.
Eventually, Lennon learned of Ono’s alleged affair. Pang recounts his unexpected reaction: “Oh, good!” suggesting a complex dynamic within their relationship.
In 1975, Lennon and Pang returned to New York, initially living separately from Ono at another apartment. Although Lennon ultimately returned to Ono, Pang maintains it was unexpected. “We were going to buy a house!” she revealed, indicating the seriousness of their relationship in her eyes. She also claims their intimate relationship continued even after his reunion with Ono, lasting until his death. “For a person who is not supposed to be in his life, I was in his life,” she asserted.
Pang believes Lennon’s public portrayal of domestic bliss with Ono in his later years was a constructed narrative to promote their reunion album, “Double Fantasy.” “He understood what to do to make it work in the media,” she stated, suggesting a degree of calculated image management.
The last conversation Pang had with Ono occurred after Lennon’s return. “I said: ‘Congratulations. You got John back. You should be very happy now.’ Her response was very interesting to me. She said: “Happy? I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy.’ To me, that didn’t sound like somebody warmly inviting that person back into their life.”
When discussing Ono, Pang consistently portrays her as manipulative and controlling, yet avoids explicitly labeling her as such. “I don’t see a reason to,” she explained. “She does pretty well with that on the merits of how she presents herself.”
Pang acknowledges the sexism and racism Ono faced, contributing to negative public perception. However, Ono’s public image has improved over time, which Pang recognizes might make audiences less receptive to her story now. Despite this, Pang feels compelled to share her account, now as a 72-year-old mother. “People will find out the missing piece of the story,” she concluded. “They’ve read about it by other people. Now they’ll see it as it was.”
“The Lost Weekend: A Love Story” documentary aims to present this missing piece when it releases in US cinemas on April 13th, with a UK release date to be announced, offering a fresh perspective on John Lennon’s “lost weekend” through the eyes of May Pang.
