When news broke that John Goblikon, the chaotic force from the goblin metal phenomenon Nekrogoblikon, had penned a book – and not just any book, but a self-help parody – my curiosity was instantly piqued. Who better to dissect the absurdities of modern life than a mythical goblin immersed in the world of heavy metal? Let me tell you, diving into “John Goblikon’s Guide to Living Your Best Life” was an experience I didn’t expect to enjoy quite so much.
I’ll admit, I found myself genuinely laughing out loud while reading this book. It’s imbued with a spirit reminiscent of Monty Python’s zany sketches – brilliantly bizarre, occasionally slapstick, and surprisingly witty in its own peculiar way. It’s the kind of humor that catches you off guard and leaves you snickering at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.
Before delving deeper into the book, for those unfamiliar, Nekrogoblikon is a band that playfully blends metal with, well, goblins. Their music is undeniably catchy, incorporating synths and a high-energy performance style. While they might be considered the “Weird Al” Yankovic of the metal scene – and I say that with a hint of affection – their stage presence is undeniably captivating. I even braved seeing them live once, a story perhaps best saved for another time.
But back to the literary escapades of John Goblikon. “John Goblikon’s Guide to Living Your Best Life” reads like a Mad Libs exercise gone wonderfully wrong, with “human existence” as its central theme. John, in his goblin wisdom, proclaims that achieving a fulfilling life is simple. His recipe? Marinate yourself in constant, all-consuming anxiety while simultaneously maintaining unwavering optimism. Sound straightforward? Perhaps not for everyone, but certainly entertaining to read about. Another gem of his life advice? Crank up the metal music. On that, John, we wholeheartedly agree! 😅
The book sees John Goblikon ranting and raving about relatable modern-day struggles: the daily grind of work, the perplexing world of gyms, the rollercoaster of relationships, and the art of navigating office politics with bizarre coworkers. One chapter that particularly resonated with me was his take on deciphering the cryptic language of text messages. John astutely observes how human conversation has evolved – or devolved – into a series of emojis and abbreviated phrases. Gone are the days of spontaneous chats on public transport or striking up conversations in line at the store. Apparently, initiating real-world dialogue is now considered “creepy,” according to John’s goblin perspective. His solution? Skip the awkward small talk and jump straight to exchanging phone numbers or social media handles to foster connection through text and DMs.
To illustrate John Goblikon’s unique approach to communication, here are a few examples of his recommended responses to common text messages, guaranteed to improve your relationships (or at least provide comedic relief):
Them: “You Up?”
You: “Always.”
Them: “Happy Birthday!”
You: “New phone, who dis?”
Them: “Call me.”
You: “Text me.”
Them: “You free tomorrow?”
You: “Let’s find out then.”
Them: “How are you?”
You: “Follow me on Instagram.”
Them: “Hey, you!” – sans emoji.
You: “Whoa, you’re a freakin’ psychopath; please do not contact me again with that vague intro text that I have to sort through and derive some sort of meaning from.”
Them: “Did you call me?”
You: “Call me back and let’s find out.”
While the practical application of these responses might be questionable, the humor is undeniable! 😁
In conclusion, “John Goblikon’s Guide to Living Your Best Life” isn’t going to offer profound life advice, and it probably won’t offer any genuinely useful pointers at all. However, what it absolutely will deliver is a hearty dose of laughter at the sheer absurdity of modern life. And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need. If you’re looking for a lighthearted, comedic read that doesn’t take itself seriously, then this book by John Goblikon is definitely worth checking out.
P.S. While you might enjoy the book for a good chuckle, maybe approach Nekrogoblikon’s music with a similar sense of humor. 😂 Just kidding… mostly. If you have a Nekrogoblikon song that you secretly (or not so secretly) love, feel free to share it. I might playfully tease your musical taste, but I’ll appreciate the recommendation nonetheless.
