When did you realize that being a teacher, much like motivational speaking, was your true calling, John Bytheway?
I’ve never been particularly fond of the term “motivational speaker.” I see myself more as a teacher. Teaching was always my aspiration. After returning home from my mission, I initially pursued a business major. However, my involvement with Especially for Youth shortly after my mission provided me with the wonderful opportunity to teach. This experience, particularly teaching young people, has been incredibly fulfilling ever since. There’s a unique satisfaction in witnessing that moment of understanding in someone’s eyes, that “light bulb” moment when they grasp a concept they hadn’t before. It was that feeling, that impact, that solidified my desire to continue on this path of teaching and connection.
Your work, John Bytheway, spans a diverse range of topics, from life lessons gleaned from golf to the imaginative concept of “Imagi-nation.” What sparks such creative and varied ideas in your work?
My ideas often stem from my current interests and observations. Take golf, for example. When I began playing, I was struck by how many life lessons I found embedded within the sport, perhaps more than in any other. This realization led me to want to write about golf, an idea that surprisingly resonated with Deseret Book.
I find life lessons in countless aspects of everyday experiences. These observations, combined with the interests of young people, become the wellspring of my creative endeavors. One of my primary goals is to make the more challenging aspects of the gospel more engaging and accessible. This motivation is behind books like Isaiah for Airheads and Righteous Warriors, which tackles the war chapters in the Book of Mormon. Many find Isaiah challenging, and some question the presence of extensive war narratives in the Book of Mormon. My aim is to bridge that gap, to make these potentially daunting topics relatable and understandable for everyone.
Adolescence is a period marked by both universal experiences and individual circumstances shaped by home environments and societal times. What do you believe allows you, John Bytheway, to connect so effectively with youth throughout your career?
If young people truly knew my age, they might stop listening! My approach is to strive for authenticity and relatability. I incorporate humor and avoid taking myself too seriously. I’ve long since abandoned trying to adopt their slang or current vernacular. Instead, I believe they respond to genuine communication, to someone who is real and willing to share their honest thoughts. I try to show them that it is possible to find joy and fulfillment in life.
How has your role as a father influenced your evolution as a speaker and writer for youth, John Bytheway?
Fatherhood has profoundly shaped my perspective. I find myself increasingly emphasizing the “why” behind expectations when speaking to young people. It’s not enough to simply state standards; it’s crucial to explain the reasoning behind them, to illustrate not only choices but also their potential consequences. Being a father has instilled in me the importance of conveying love through actions and guidance. Helping young people understand that expressions of love can take many forms, even sounding like “Where are you going? Who are you going with? When will you be home?” These questions, though sometimes perceived as controlling, are rooted in deep care and concern for their well-being and ultimate happiness.
John Bytheway, you’ve also written about the secrets to a happy marriage. What is the secret to your own successful marriage?
I recall a MormonAd from years ago that perfectly encapsulates it: “Marriage isn’t any big thing, it’s a lot of little things.” It’s the consistent, small reminders each day that you care, that your spouse is in your thoughts. These daily gestures, however, are ultimately expressions of a larger, more profound commitment – a covenant heart. It’s a deep-seated commitment to upholding the marriage covenant.
Beyond your writing and speaking, John Bytheway, you’re also a professor at BYU. How does teaching religion complement your other professional pursuits?
While I deeply enjoy teaching teenagers, I find a unique fulfillment in working with young single adults in a university setting. My classes at BYU are less like firesides and more like open discussions. I relish the opportunity to explore with my students how to apply the profound principles of scripture to our contemporary lives. College students bring insightful questions, and I believe that’s a significant part of why I find it so rewarding. When we can collectively address these questions as a group, the learning becomes a shared and enriching experience for everyone.
If your current career path were unavailable to you, John Bytheway, what other occupation might you pursue?
(Laughing) Perhaps a pastry chef! But in all seriousness, throughout my childhood, my dream was to become a pilot. Unfortunately, my eyesight deteriorated when I was seventeen, precluding a career in military aviation. The allure of flying has always remained. I even had the incredible experience of flying in an F-16 a few years ago – truly amazing. So, yes, if I weren’t in my current field, I believe I would be pursuing a career as a pilot. I’ve even soloed in a plane, though I haven’t yet completed the flight hours for a full license. Currently, with six children, I suspect my wife might have reservations about me taking flying lessons!
What single event in your life are you most proud of, John Bytheway?
Oh, without hesitation, marrying my wife. That is absolutely it – I married exceptionally well. It’s a realization that reaffirms itself daily. She is an incredible wife and mother, and beyond that, I simply cherish being with her.
The expectation to be consistently witty and engaging must be demanding. Do you ever wish you could simply deliver a straightforward, less entertaining talk, John Bytheway?
Humor isn’t my immediate first step in preparation. My process starts with identifying the core message, the essential principles I want to convey. Then, my secondary consideration is, “How do I engage those who might be reluctant to listen?” The primary question is always, “What needs to be taught?” and the secondary, “How do I teach it in a way that resonates with everyone, especially those who might be most disengaged?” Humor becomes a tool I consider later, asking myself, “Is this section becoming dry? What can I do to inject some engagement?” For some, humor flows naturally, but for me, it’s a deliberate element I work to incorporate.
Where do you find your inspiration for humor, John Bytheway?
My father was a very funny man. I also simply love to laugh. Life itself is inherently humorous, often in a bittersweet way.
One of your recent books delves into the parables. What is your favorite parable and why, John Bytheway?
I’m captivated by parables because they resemble Sudoku puzzles – you know there’s a solution waiting to be discovered. They invite you to actively seek their meaning. Without a doubt, my favorite is the parable of the prodigal son. It’s unique because it contains two interwoven narratives. The return of the prodigal son is one story, but the reaction of the elder brother, who learns of the celebration upon his brother’s return, is another equally compelling story. His internal struggle with feelings of unfairness and resentment at his wasteful brother’s welcome home is a scenario that plays out in families across the world. It’s a story rich with drama, prompting us to confront our own reactions when we perceive unfairness in situations where others are shown grace and acceptance. [To learn more about his book Of Pigs, Pearls, and Prodigals, click here.]
Did Of Pigs, Pearls, and Prodigals emerge as a follow-up to Righteous Warriors, John Bytheway? What was the genesis of this book?
The book on parables was somewhat unexpected. During a trip to the Holy Land in January of last year, the idea took root. Seeing the actual geographical backdrop for the parables ignited an unexpected enthusiasm within me. I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited about a book project as I was upon returning from the Holy Land, knowing I would write about the parables.
Finally, John Bytheway, what’s the story behind your distinctive last name?
It’s an Old English name with origins dating back centuries. One of the earliest recorded instances is a Richard Bytheway in Somerset, England, in 1254. Similar names denoting location, like “at the well” or “at the water,” evolved as people dropped the “the,” becoming names like “Atwell” or “Atwater.” However, the Bytheways retained the “the.” Variations of the name have included “Bitaway” and “De la Rhode.” Interestingly, I discovered more about my name at a “Family Name Histories” kiosk in a San Antonio mall. I was surprised to find my name in their binder, and that’s where I learned its meaning: “a dweller by the road.” While some surnames denote occupations like “Taylor” or “Cooper,” it seems the Bytheways were simply known for “hangin’ out by the road.”
