John Prine, the beloved Americana songwriter, had a knack for capturing the beautiful absurdities of everyday life and love. “In Spite of Ourselves,” a duet famously performed with Iris DeMent, perfectly encapsulates this talent. The song isn’t a saccharine ballad; instead, it’s a humorous and heartfelt celebration of love that thrives not in spite of imperfections, but perhaps even because of them. Let’s dive into the lyrics of “In Spite of Ourselves” and explore what makes this song such an enduring and relatable anthem for imperfectly perfect love.
The song opens with verses dedicated to each partner, painting vivid, slightly quirky portraits. The woman “don’t like her eggs all runny,” finds “crossin’ her legs is funny,” and “looks down her nose at money.” These aren’t typical romantic compliments. They are specific, slightly odd details that make her feel real and human. The line “She gets it on like the Easter Bunny” is particularly whimsical, suggesting an unexpected passion beneath her seemingly particular exterior.
Similarly, the man “ain’t got laid in a month of Sundays” and is caught “sniffin’ my undies,” hardly traditionally romantic imagery. He’s described as “not too sharp,” yet he “gets things done,” highlighting a practical, unpretentious nature. His beer consumption is likened to “oxygen,” a humorous exaggeration that paints a picture of a man comfortable in his own skin, flaws and all.
The chorus is where the heart of the song truly lies: “In spite of ourselves, we’ll end up a’sittin’ on a rainbow.” This line is the core message – against all odds, despite their individual quirks and shortcomings, their love will endure and lead to happiness. The imagery of “sittin’ on a rainbow” is classic Prine – slightly surreal, optimistic, and down-to-earth all at once. The chorus continues with “Honey, we’re the big door prize,” a playful declaration of mutual appreciation. They’re “gonna spite our noses right off of our faces,” a wonderfully bizarre line suggesting they’ll defy negativity and self-doubt, embracing their love with full force. The chorus culminates in the heartwarming image of “big old hearts dancin’ in our eyes,” symbolizing pure, unadulterated affection.
The second verses continue in the same vein, adding more charmingly imperfect details. She thinks his jokes are “corny,” yet “convict movies make her horny.” Her love of ketchup on scrambled eggs and sailor-like swearing during leg-shaving further paints a picture of a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, embracing her sometimes contradictory desires and habits. The line “She takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin'” is a playful nod to resilience and strength.
The man’s verse escalates the humorous descriptions. He’s got “more balls than a big brass monkey,” a colorful idiom suggesting boldness and perhaps a bit of recklessness. He’s a “whacked out weirdo and a lovebug junkie,” embracing his eccentricities and affectionate nature. “Sly as a fox and crazy as a loon” further emphasizes his unpredictable and unconventional charm. Even his financial habits are quirky – “Payday comes and he’s howlin’ at the moon,” suggesting a carefree, perhaps slightly irresponsible approach to money, but ultimately endearing.
The spoken outro reinforces the central theme: “In spite of ourselves.” It’s a quiet, almost whispered affirmation that love isn’t about perfection; it’s about accepting and cherishing each other, quirks and all. “In Spite of Ourselves” resonates because it presents a realistic and refreshing view of love. It’s not about fairytale perfection, but about finding joy and connection in the wonderfully messy reality of human relationships. John Prine’s genius lies in his ability to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, and “In Spite of Ourselves” is a perfect example of this, celebrating love in all its delightfully imperfect glory.
