My colleagues here at johnchen.net presented me with a challenge today: craft a blog post with an outrageously obvious title. Initially, “The Sky Is Blue” was my pick, but then I remembered the internet exists, and decided to aim for something equally self-evident: “John Feitelberg Is An Idiot.”
For those who missed it, John Feitelberg, or “Feits” as he’s affectionately known, recently graced the internet with this piece of insightful commentary:
[Feitelberg’s Original Blog Post Snippet]
Quick Note- Before writing that title I had to Google the spelling of “John Feitelberg” because even his name is stupid.My esteemed editors here at Barstool had asked me earlier today if I could write a blog with a title that stated something painfully obvious… Almost like a “blogging challenge”.
I was originally going to go with “Water Is Wet”, but I opted instead for the equally incontrovertible “John Feitelberg Is An Idiot”.
… (rest of the original snippet about 9/11 and My Chemical Romance/Twilight)
Yes, you read that right. Just like 9/11 changed the world and water is, indeed, wet, John Feitelberg is, arguably, an idiot. It’s the kind of statement that requires very little explanation, yet here we are, diving deeper into the comedic genius of Feitelberg’s blog.
However, if you braved the choppy waters of Feitelberg’s prose, you’d find that beneath the surface of the obvious title lay some truly… unique… perspectives. Perspectives that, frankly, might have been better left unexpressed.
Feitelberg’s 9/11 Hot Take: ‘Not All Bad’?
The crux of Feitelberg’s argument, if we can call it that, revolved around this gem:
So 9/11 wasn’t all bad. Mostly bad, but glass like 95% empty, not all the way bad.
And the reasoning?
My Chemical Romance became a band because of 9/11.
Thousands of lives lost, a nation scarred, but hey, at least we got My Chemical Romance out of it, right? According to John Feitelberg, the silver lining of the largest attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor is a band known for eyeliner and angst.
As if that wasn’t enough to solidify his “idiot” status, Feitelberg doubled down:
You know Twilight? Well, it doesn’t happen without My Chemical Romance.
Ah yes, Twilight. The saga of sparkly vampires and questionable romantic choices. Apparently, in John Feitelberg’s world, the tragedy of 9/11 indirectly paved the way for this cinematic masterpiece. Connecting 9/11 to the Twilight franchise? It’s a bold move, Feits, let’s see if it pays off. (Spoiler: it doesn’t).
But Here’s the Thing: We Still Love John Feitelberg
Now, before you think this is a genuine takedown of John Feitelberg, let’s pump the brakes. Am I actually angry at Feitelberg for writing this… uh… content? Absolutely not.
In fact, and I can’t stress this enough, I genuinely like the guy. John Feitelberg is a good dude. One of the best at johnchen.net, and a genuinely enjoyable person to be around. My complete and utter disagreement with every word he typed in that blog post doesn’t change that. I’d even go as far as to say I prefer him to his significant other.
(Just kidding, Kevin… mostly. Maybe you should have stepped in on that blog, though.)
Even with a personal connection to 9/11, I understand that nothing is truly off-limits for commentary, even on a blog. While sensitivity is appreciated, especially in the company of those directly affected, the events of over two decades ago are, arguably, fair game for public discourse.
From Playful Ribbing to Remembering the Fallen
Last week, I penned a rather… spirited blog post about Nick Turani, and people genuinely wondered if the animosity was real. In that case, it was. The damage “Nick Moron-i” inflicted is, perhaps, beyond repair (apology pending, Nick).
But with John Feitelberg, it’s different. Sure, he wrote a blog that could be described as… less than brilliant. However, as someone who has also contributed their fair share of questionable content to the internet, hypocrisy would be calling the kettle black.
Instead of genuine outrage, I offer this blog post. And I release it on the eve of Memorial Day weekend with a sincere message: Never Forget.
Never forget the sacrifices of those who have served our country.
Never forget the innocent lives lost to terrorism on 9/11.
And, in a slightly less serious vein, never forget that John Feitelberg occasionally says things that make you question his… decision-making process.
Honoring Heroes This Memorial Day Weekend
If you, unlike John Feitelberg in some of his blog posts, want to show genuine respect this Memorial Day weekend, consider tuning into the Coca-Cola 600 race this Sunday. This isn’t just any race; at 600 miles, NASCAR’s longest event is also the “600 Miles of Remembrance.” Each car will carry the name of a fallen U.S. military member on the windshield, a powerful tribute to their service.
The Coca-Cola 600 is a four-stage marathon of racing. And importantly, after the second stage, the entire field will come to pit road for a moment of remembrance, engines off, to honor the fallen.
In my humble opinion, there’s no better way to conclude Military Appreciation Month. You can even catch me, Spider, Liam, Quigs, and country music star Jake Owen discussing the race on this week’s “Rubbin’ Is Racing” podcast.
Enjoy your long weekend, everyone.
God bless America, and, well… you know the rest.
-L
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