I’m not one to cause a stir, but honestly, I was given explicit permission to share this story, so here it goes: Elton John wrote “Your Song” for me. Yes, you read that right. However, before you jump to conclusions about grand romantic gestures, let me clarify – it was a housewarming present, and definitely not the kind I was expecting.
You see, when I invited the legendary duo Elton John and Bernie Taupin to celebrate my new home, I jokingly asked them to bring ice. Perhaps I should have been more specific about the kind of gift.
Now, don’t get me wrong, “Your Song” is a classic, a beautiful piece of music in the Elton John songbook. But at a housewarming party, desperately short of ice, it felt a tad… impractical. A simple bottle of wine would have been welcomed! But a song? What were we supposed to do with that when the drinks were getting warm?
When Elton and Bernie arrived, my first question was, “Hey, where’s the ice?” The party was in full swing, and the ice situation was critical. They exchanged a look, then announced, “Oh, actually, we got you something else.” Cue Elton heading straight for the piano. My perfectly curated party playlist, just as “Love Shack” was hitting its stride, was abruptly halted for an impromptu performance.
Look, I appreciate gifts, I really do. But this one felt… impersonal. It’s called “Your Song,” but it doesn’t even mention my name! Think about it – Daniel got his name in his Elton John song. Heck, Daniel made it into the title! Clearly, naming names isn’t off the table for these songwriters; just ask about Susie, Bennie, or even Tony Danza, all immortalized in Elton John songs.
Calling it “Your Song” just seemed so generic, so…mass-produced. It made me wonder if this “personalized” ditty was perhaps a regift. After all, Elton famously repurposed Marilyn Monroe’s song for Princess Diana. Was my housewarming gift just another instance of musical recycling?
My suspicions grew as I started to discreetly inquire. Apparently, this “Your Song” gift is their go-to move! Secret Santa? “Your Song.” Engagement party? “Your Song.” Even a dog’s seventh birthday? You guessed it – “Your Song.” It began to feel less like a thoughtful present and more like a running gag, or worse, a scam. The thought of sharing my song with a seven-year-old terrier named Sparky felt… insulting.
And the audacity! They even encouraged me to tell everyone, “This is your song!” Didn’t they realize the chaos this could cause? Imagine the confusion, the potential for arguments among recipients of this universal anthem. How many pub brawls have erupted over the rightful ownership of “Your Song”? It’s utter madness!
I’m not materialistic – truly, ice was all I genuinely desired (and didn’t receive, leading to a frantic mid-party ice run). But if we’re exchanging gifts with Elton John, shouldn’t the bar be set a little higher than a song he seemingly hands out like candy? He sings about being broke in some of his early Elton John songs, but come on, this is the man with “Lion King” money! Speaking of which, if I had to choose an Elton John song as a gift, “Hakuna Matata” would have been infinitely more useful. Is there some kind of gift receipt for songs?
At the very least, I think I deserve a slice of the royalties. Elton himself said it – this is my song, right? With royalty checks rolling in, at least I’d be perpetually stocked with ice, ready for any future party, even if certain musical guests forget to bring their share.
