Upon a special request, we delve into the archives of advertising history to revisit a FedEx commercial that remains iconic, largely thanks to the incredible talent of John Moschitta Jr. While FedEx has produced numerous memorable ads, this particular one, readily found on platforms like YouTube, stands out. It showcases none other than Joe Moschitta, celebrated globally as the “fastest talking man.” This remarkable ability propelled him to fame and even secured him the voice role of Blur, the rapid-speaking Autobot in Transformers. Moschitta’s speech, clocked at an astounding pace, makes him a perfect fit for portraying announcers in high-energy infomercials, reminiscent of the “As Seen on TV” promotions, or even auctioneers seem to pale in comparison. However, our focus today isn’t solely on Moschitta’s extraordinary speech patterns but on the FedEx commercial that catapulted him into mainstream recognition.
John Moschitta as the fast-talking businessman 'Pete' in the FedEx commercial.
The commercial, titled “Fast Paced World,” opens in a bustling office setting. To fully grasp its rapid-fire delivery, multiple viewings are almost necessary. The scene immediately introduces a businessman, portrayed by John Moschitta, engaged in a lightning-fast phone conversation, orchestrating business trips to Los Angeles and New York. Moments after hanging up, he swiftly turns to a job applicant, posing the succinct question of why he believes he deserves the position. The applicant’s reply, “I have a sharp mind,” is met with instant approval. In a blink, the businessman hires him on the spot – a humorous exaggeration of efficient, albeit unrealistic, modern job interviews.
A scene from the FedEx commercial showcasing John Moschitta's rapid-fire business dialogue.
The commercial then cuts to a boardroom meeting, where the same businessman delivers a rapid-fire lecture, encapsulating the essence of corporate urgency with the phrase, “business is business,” emphasizing the need for immediate action to achieve results. The meeting concludes as abruptly as it began. Following this, we see the businessman in conversation with another individual, who bears a striking resemblance to actor Jeffrey Tambor. Despite online debates about the actor’s actual presence, the resemblance is uncanny, evoking Tambor’s signature portrayal of frustrated authority figures. In this exchange, they briefly discuss a bank-related matter in Pittsburgh, during which the businessman casually asks if “Pete” is an acceptable nickname, to which the other man agrees.
The pace quickens further as a receptionist announces “Mr. Smitler” to the businessman. Without missing a beat, he instructs her to have Mr. Smitler wait for precisely “15 seconds.” The commercial culminates in a flurry of activity as the businessman juggles multiple phone lines, engaging in rapid-fire conversations concerning stock market exchanges and various financial transactions. Notably, his upward gaze suggests he is reading from cue cards, a common practice in fast-paced advertising.
The classic FedEx logo and airplane, highlighting their overnight delivery service in a vintage advertisement.
At this crescendo of frantic activity, a voiceover announcer breaks through, stating, “In this fast moving, high pressure, get it done yesterday world. Aren’t you glad there’s one company that can keep up with it all?” As the announcer speaks, a FedEx package is placed on the businessman’s desk, who remains immersed in his whirlwind of phone calls. The ad concludes with FedEx’s iconic tagline: “Federal Express, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.” This tagline perfectly encapsulates the commercial’s message: FedEx is the solution for businesses operating at an unrelenting pace.
This memorable commercial was the brainchild of Sedelmaier Productions, the same studio that created the equally iconic “Where’s the Beef?” commercials for Wendy’s. While a retrospective on those ads is for another time, it’s worth noting Sedelmaier’s signature style of fast-paced, humorous advertising. The FedEx commercial starring John Moschitta proved to be a turning point in his career. His extraordinary speed-talking ability, showcased in this ad, opened doors to numerous television appearances and further commercial work, most notably the Micro Machines commercials of the 1980s.
Beyond commercials, Moschitta’s talent extended to educational programming. He made a memorable appearance on Sesame Street, where he played a fast-talking businessman for “Peter Piper’s,” a fictional company specializing in products starting with the letter “P.” In a humorous skit, he navigated the linguistic challenges when Peter Piper’s was acquired by a company dealing exclusively in “S” products.
John Moschitta on Sesame Street, demonstrating his fast-talking skills with words starting with 'P'.
Ultimately, this FedEx commercial is more than just an advertisement; it’s a cultural artifact that captured the zeitgeist of a fast-paced era. John Moschitta’s incredible speed-talking ability was the perfect vehicle to deliver FedEx’s message of speed and efficiency. His performance made the commercial unforgettable and solidified his place in advertising history. Moschitta’s talent is not just about fast speech; it’s about precision, clarity, and comedic timing delivered at an astonishing rate, making him a true master of his craft.
