Life rarely unfolds as scripted, and for Cathy Cygan, stepping into the role of a widow was one she never auditioned for, a part no acting class could have prepared her for. Yet, it was in the very realm of acting, in a New York City class back in 1987, that she met John Cygan, the man who would transform her life into an enchanting journey. Their initial encounter, rehearsing a love scene from “Cider House Rules,” marked the beginning of a love story that would resonate through decades. Cathy was captivated not only by John Cygan‘s evident talent, even in those early rehearsals, but more profoundly by his infectious sense of humor. His quick wit and ability to find levity in almost any situation became an irresistible draw, a delightful addiction. He often quoted Arthur, saying “sometimes I just think funny things,” a phrase that perfectly encapsulated his ever-present, joyful spirit. Even now, Cathy can vividly picture him chuckling to himself, a testament to his innate comedic nature.
The Intertwining of Two Worlds
Despite navigating a challenging childhood marked by tragedy, John Cygan possessed an extraordinary ability to embrace life’s brighter side. This grounded perspective was deeply admired by Cathy, who, in her own words, “HAD the best of everything.” This contrast in their backgrounds, rather than creating a divide, became the very foundation of their strong bond. They cherished their differences, allowing their distinct upbringings to enrich their shared life. Their relationship wasn’t about constant agreement; it was about respecting differing viewpoints and growing through mutual learning. While some friends may have misconstrued their passionate debates as conflict, Cathy clarifies that disagreement was never fighting. John Cygan valued her opinions, fostering an environment of open communication and mutual respect. They understood the strength in their dynamic, often sharing private amusement at how their New Yorker candor might be misinterpreted. This unique interplay of perspectives became a defining characteristic of their relationship, a testament to their ability to learn and evolve together.
A Whirlwind Romance and Transatlantic Love
Barely two months into their relationship, in December 1987, John Cygan swept Cathy away on a two-week romantic European adventure as a Christmas gift. Rome, Venice, Paris, and London became the backdrop for their burgeoning love. While Cathy’s parents initially harbored typical parental skepticism, questioning the intentions of this “actor guy,” they were quickly won over by John’s genuine and present nature. Her mother found an immediate connection with him, sharing the common ground of childhood loss. This trip served as a pivotal moment, solidifying their commitment. Navigating foreign countries, language barriers, and constant togetherness only strengthened their realization that their connection was undeniable. As Cathy humorously recalls their shared Italian vocabulary being limited to “Dove e gabinetto?” (Where is the bathroom?), the trip underscored their ability to navigate life’s journey, big or small, as a team. Returning home, they knew they had embarked on a truly extraordinary love story.
From New York Dreams to Los Angeles Reality
December 1989 marked a significant turning point as John Cygan and Cathy decided to relocate to Los Angeles for pilot season. Having achieved near breakthroughs in New York, his agents believed a move to LA would unlock further opportunities. With four months of savings, they ventured west, a temporary plan that turned into a permanent life chapter. Both their acting careers began to flourish, realizing the dreams they had both diligently pursued. However, the arrival of children illuminated John Cygan‘s most natural and cherished role: fatherhood. He embraced this role wholeheartedly, even declining promising out-of-town acting opportunities to remain present for his family. Having experienced a less traditional family structure himself, being a hands-on, involved father became a deeply fulfilling aspect of his life.
Cathy gratefully acknowledges John Cygan‘s profound partnership in raising their children. He was not just a husband but an active co-parent, a “buddy, a mentor, a dance partner, a comedian, an acting coach and a life coach.” Beyond his family, John Cygan‘s defining trait was his unwavering “yes.” Whether it was a voice-over request, video project, sports photography, tech support, or even moving assistance, his default answer was always affirmative, regardless of his expertise or schedule. Cathy fondly recounts the running joke in their household, with her often interjecting with realistic limitations, only to be proven wrong by John’s boundless willingness to help. This generosity and readiness to assist others likely explains the vast community gathered to celebrate his life, a testament to the countless lives he touched with his helpful spirit.
A Legacy of Love and Enduring Support
Standing at the podium, delivering the eulogy, Cathy poignantly wished it were all a bad dream. Yet, amidst the profound sorrow, she expressed immense gratitude for the overwhelming outpouring of love and support from the St Mel and Chaminade communities. These “Catholic worker-bees,” as she affectionately calls them, mobilized with remarkable efficiency and compassion, providing unwavering assistance during the most challenging times. Coupled with the unwavering support of their extended families and cherished friends, Cathy felt enveloped in a network of care. Meals, transportation, pet care, flowers, and companionship during hospital visits and doctor’s appointments became tangible expressions of love and solidarity. This network of support illuminated the blessings amidst the sadness and disappointment, underscoring the profound impact John Cygan had on those around him.
Reflecting on their 26th wedding anniversary, celebrated shortly before his passing, Cathy cherishes the “24 good years” they shared, outweighing the recent “2 crappy” ones. She unequivocally states that John Cygan would have reciprocated the same unwavering support had the roles been reversed. Drawing strength from the saying, “When you come to the end of the edge of all the light you have known, and are about to step out into the darkness, faith is knowing one of two things will happen, there will be something to stand on or you will be taught how to fly,” Cathy concludes with a simple yet powerful declaration: “I will always love you John.” This eulogy serves as a heartfelt tribute to John Cygan, celebrating a life rich in humor, love, family, and an enduring legacy of generosity and unwavering support.
